Throughout my life I have had several blogs and journals that have come and go, and I currently run my company’s blog but needed a place to share my own personal thoughts and experiences with others who may be interested or in similar situations. It is a way for me to share my journey through life as a member of Gen Y and the group of people who want to make their own way, rather than struggle to play someone else’s game. I have imported posts from my other blogs as well as some of my own journal entries compiling them into a single format, this blog.
I guess you can say that I have always been obsessed with success. The type of success that comes from doing something you are passionate about and being driven by that passion. Just to clarify, I think success and money are not correlated and one is not representative of the other. I have known many successful jazz musicians full of passion who make less than 50k a year. Also, how can you put a financial worth on having a successful relationship with your family or friends? That being said, I always remember what someone once told me when I was going through confirmation at church and I asked for advice about money – “Do what you love and the money will come. “ You will out-perform others who perform their job solely for the paycheck and be able to sustain and increase your productivity for much longer because of that passion.
I have always been interested in what makes people successful and finding the so-called “balance” in life. Maybe it is the Gen Y in me or maybe not, but I have always felt I can have both success in my professional life and success in my personal life. As I have gotten older and started to live the “startup” life, I have begun to realize how difficult it is to find this “balance.” When I moved to PA from TX leaving my family, girlfriend and life-long friends it really hit home. Though there are many days when I am filled with guilt knowing what my parents are going through with my dad’s illness or knowing how abandoned my girlfriend must feel at times, I truly believe it is possible to make it work. As long as it is temporary!
I know that many other Gen Y’ers are going through the same thing, as they graduate and re-locate for the best opportunities. Adding to the stress of being away, when you work for a small company or startup you are often traveling or working long hours throughout the week and many weekends. Work begins to blend with life and life begins to blend with work…not exactly a stress reliever for the personal side of things. Several times I have met “single serving friends” on airplanes or train/subway rides and the question of “how do you do it” always seems to surface. The question usually is in regard to being in a long-distance relationship and my answers generally revolve around the same key elements:
- Trust - Not just knowing that you are both committed to the relationship, but also the trust that whatever you are doing in your career life benefits your personal life and relationship. This is important and is one of the keys to making it work.
- Understanding – Anyone who has been in a serious relationship or a long distance relationship knows that having a significant other that is “understanding” makes all of the difference. If my girlfriend was not so ridiculously “understanding,” I am not sure how it would work. Unfortunately, most often, and unfairly so, the person who did not move away or is not living the startup life has to be the most “understanding.”
- Commitment – To me, Commitment is different than trust. In a way, they are symbiotic. Being committed to making it work is a must-have for someone in the startup life or long-distance relationship. Times get hard, really hard, and sometimes it may seem like the only thing you have is love and commitment, but if your are strong in your commitment to each other and the love is genuine, then you will make it through the tough times. After all it does go in cycles regarding the easy and hard times.
- Support – Whether you are making a career change, re-location, starting a business or really any major change, it requires a tremendous amount of support. Your friends will tell you that you are crazy. Your family may or may not agree or understand what you are doing, and at times you will feel completely alone. The support from your significant other can often be the most powerful “pick me up” out there. Remember this goes both ways! As you are traveling around and trying to make your business successful, your boyfriend or girlfriend, wife or husband have a void in their life that used to be filled with spending time with you. It is easy to forget that when you begin to gain traction with your career and it starts to take over more and more of your life.
I tell people those things and one time a businessman on a train from DC said, “well aren’t those the keys to any relationship?” My reply was “yes, but now take away seeing each other every day, going out with friends, sitting down together to watch a movie, or just holding hands and you can see how increasingly important those things become.” All in all, I feel blessed and lucky. Blessed that I have family and friends who support what I am doing and lucky enough to have a girlfriend who can tolerate my absolutely crazy life and still supports me trying to do things that make it even crazier. Life truly is about the relationships you make, and when you look at it, they are not very different from a strong business – find someone who you geuinely want to work with, ride out the lows to get to the highs, communicate effectively, share in the joys and sorrows, don’t ever lose sight of the end goal and sometimes just take a minute and smile as you look back at how far you have come.
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